Coach Fairbell on 'Those Who Can't' on TruTV. My comedy album 'Hit the Dick Lights' is on iTunes!
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The more people who tell me they read about our world being a simulation the more I believe it and also believe I'm in a boring one.
13 hours ago / 2 Retweets / 29 Likes
Unpopular Opinion: I don't think John Wick has the right lifestyle to take care of his new dog.
2 days ago / 125 Retweets / 463 Likes
I am writing an article entitled ARE HOBBITS HELPING SMAUG?
2 days ago / 83 Retweets / 446 Likes
LIFE HACK: If a public restroom is locked, violently yank the door handle over and over like a gorilla and never accept that it's occupied
1 years ago / 1858 Retweets / 4775 Likes
Uh also Samson killed himself and everyone in that temple. https://t.co/vWrt4gnvVT
3 days ago / 7 Retweets / 28 Likes
John Wick is based on a true story, right?
3 days ago / 0 Retweets / 16 Likes
If you see me staring into the middle distance from now on, just know I'm reliving every one of my deaths in For Honor.
3 days ago / 0 Retweets / 13 Likes
There's a gay guy who wants to be famous by being racist and transphobic. I blame dumb straight people for finding that interesting.
3 days ago / 632 Retweets / 3107 Likes
There may be no other good news today, but there's this. https://t.co/WfpLEu4AXQ
4 days ago / 1475 Retweets / 3360 Likes
LA! Is this your dog? She was hit by a car & has fractured her hips. She is stable at the animal hospital. Please s… https://t.co/3pvrAbVcjT
4 days ago / 8512 Retweets / 7025 Likes
Finally found the cover for my memoirs. https://t.co/18fZZHtvul
5 days ago / 1 Retweets / 16 Likes
Here's a fact most adults know: If you'll lie about little things, you'll lie about anything. https://t.co/RAu3cN6mtR
5 days ago / 11 Retweets / 30 Likes