Coach Fairbell on 'Those Who Can't' on TruTV. My comedy album 'Hit the Dick Lights' is on iTunes!
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Parking at this SF hotel is $60 A NIGHT. I'm thinking if I'm going to spend that much maybe I'll drive through the lobby window instead.
22 hours ago / 1 Retweets / 18 Likes
CRAN FRAGCISCO: I'm driving 100mph for the Grawlix shows tonight at CA Academy of Sciences (6:30) and Yacht Rock tomorrow! Come on out!
1 days ago / 1 Retweets / 12 Likes
Me: Do you know how to dap? Daughter: DUH it's called dab! *Proceeds to do shittiest dab I've ever seen* Me: That was awful. We're even.
1 days ago / 3 Retweets / 18 Likes
3 days ago / 0 Retweets / 10 Likes
Noir Reads - Monthly subscription box featuring Black authors with a reading guide and online book club forum!… https://t.co/8E1j0iVc6B
11 days ago / 560 Retweets / 895 Likes
Making homemade ravioli is a great way to end up ordering shitty Domino's pizza in a panic 45 minutes later.
3 days ago / 6 Retweets / 48 Likes
Alone in my silent house when suddenly & for no reason, Alexa speaks: "I'm always trying to improve." 😨
5 days ago / 79 Retweets / 434 Likes
My daughter's big takeaway from pictures during the Civil Rights movement is "Whoa lunch was only 50 cents?!" So we're about to have a chat.
5 days ago / 4 Retweets / 69 Likes
On this Martin Luther King Jr. weekend, let it be clear that John Lewis is an American patriot. Trump's attacks on… https://t.co/NUp3im1z8P
6 days ago / 48099 Retweets / 95647 Likes
We are one people, one family, one house--the American house. We must learn to live together as brother & sister or we will perish as fools.
3 months ago / 3084 Retweets / 6637 Likes
Just picked my daughter up after not seeing her for a week: "Dad, do you know what a will is and have you filled yours out yet?"
6 days ago / 1 Retweets / 73 Likes
It's a shame that it's already the title of a book because 'A Confederacy of Dunces' perfectly describes the incoming administration.
7 days ago / 3 Retweets / 33 Likes